Country in the Spotlight

A few years ago I found a treasure on Amazon that has provided me with many chuckles since its purchase. The treasure I am referring to is The Clumsiest People In Europe. Mrs. Favell Lee Mortimer lived in England her entire life, venturing out of the country on only two occasions but that did not stop her from writing three books about the various regions of the world. She wrote The Countries of Europe Described in 1849, Far Off: Asia and Australia Described in 1852 and Far Off, Part II: Africa and America Described in 1854. In 2005 Todd Pruzan combined selections from each book and created The Clumsiest People In Europe or Mrs. Mortimer's Bad-Tempered Guide To The Victorian World. Although Mrs. Mortimer was not well-traveled she was well-read. It was from hundreds of books that Mrs. Mortimer gathered her information to open the eyes of her neighbors to the delights and atrocities of the world. 

While Mrs. Mortimer is a fascinating subject indeed, the point of this post is not to talk about her but to share some of what she had to say. It's difficult to choose which country to place the spotlight on. To pay homage (or perhaps bring disgrace) to my ancestry I'm going to share Mrs. Mortimer's thoughts on Germany. 

"If you were travelling through Germany you would see fine hills and great forests; but you would not see those pretty green fields and hedges all covered with May which are so pleasant in England. Where are the cows? They are in the stable. How strange it seems to keep you poor cow shut up in a stall! I am sure if you were a cow you would much sooner be an American cow feasting on the fresh grass than a German cow eating the bundles of weeds in a stable. 

I cannot say the cottages are very pleasant. The lower room is the cow's stable. This would be well if the upper room was clean; but it is no. As the women are so much out of doors, they do not keep the house clean. There is a dresser with the shelves, beds with curtains, and a stove; but all is dirty and uncomfortable.

The Germans get up very early, and have a breakfast at six or seven o'clock, but they are content with a cup of coffee, and some dry bread; and they usually drink a glass of cold water before they begin. 

They do not often drink tea, nor do they know well how to make it. I have heard of a maid at an inn who by mistake boiled the tea.

Many of the Germans are stout, tall, fine-looking men, - and no wonder, because they have plenty of good food, and hard work to make it agree with them. The women are fresh and fair, with round smiling faces, light hair, and blue eyes. 

The ladies are very industrious, and wherever they go, they take their knitting. They are as fond of their knitting-needles as the gentlemen are of their pipes. The number of stockings they make would surprise you. How much better to knit than to smoke! When they are at home, the ladies spend a great deal of the time in cooking; they also spin, and have a great deal of linen of their own spinning, locked up in their great chests. Can they do nothing but knit, and cook, and spin? Yes, they can play on the piano, and the harp, and sing very sweetly. But they are not fond of reading useful books. When they read, it is novels about people who have never lived. It would be better to read nothing than such books. 

At Christmas time, the parents please their children by getting a little tree, and sticking lights all over it, and hanging sham fruit and little figures upon it, and on the table near it they lay presents. But very naughty children are not allowed to see the tree, or to have any presents. 

You must have seen already, that the Germans are very kind, and pleasant in their families. They are affectionate. They are careful, and cautious. It would be well if they were more neat and clean people, especially the poor people."